take that you basti! [originally posted tuesday, 22 february 2011 at 20:03]

Worked my butt off today...doing the usual breaks and thinking about a cobalt blue bottle of wine...left from David and Amy's holiday visit...a bottle of Amy's favorite...a Riesling. Christie had called earlier in the day and said her and David and the girls were heading downtown after work. I arranged a ride with my buddy Jeb, and while finished up my work for the day I thought about the empty house...and the cobalt blue bottle of Riesling...that were waiting for me.

Jeb and I got stuck staying over 15 or 20 minutes...and we both were ready to get out of our scrubs...into our street clothes...and get the hell home. A pleasant jaunt home for me...admiring Jeb's Suburban...that seats 7 and all your crap in the back...hmm maybe this instead of the nameless minivan we are preparing to purchase?

The keys were in the Barbie pool as promised and I laid some ice melt down before going in to the warm house...and the cobalt blue bottle of Riesling. The first thing I did was go to the kitchen sink to wash my salty hands...when I noticed a snake like stream on the kitchen window over the sink. I reached out and touched it and realized it was cold water...looking up I saw where it was entering at the top of the window. What the heck??? I moved the tray with the African violets...the toothpick holder and the angel from the sill and found it wet as well...really really wet. I removed the curtains overhead to take a better look...then I grabbed a towel...put it on the sill.

Deciding to investigate outside the window...I retrieved my jacket from my room...put my boots back on and got a ladder. It appears that the little wooden awning that Daddy built had finally worn out. Apparently me and David banging on it over the past few weeks to keep ice dams from forming had loosened 'something' and now I had a water problem.

I first called my handyman's wife...who said he couldn't come right away...maybe not until tomorrow. Ok...I can handle this. Going back inside to the window after the call I discovered the hand towel I had placed 20 minutes prior was already saturated...the water had made another stream...this one from the towel to the countertop behind the sink. This was getting really ugly...and I had completely forgotten about the empty house and the cobalt blue bottle of Riesling.

I mopped up the mess and started over with a new towel. I tried sticking the towel into the crack at the top of the window where the fountain head was located. The water just ran down the towel and onto the sill as before. This sucks...this really really sucks...I said to myself.

Then I remembered that I may be 57...but I am still pretty good looking...and I'm really fucking smart!

I went on a search of the drawers and cabinets...for the bag we take in the car to the beach and on trips. That bag that you keep band aids and ace wraps...and even some ice packs for emergencies...the ones that don't require stitches. I found the bag...behind the toilet paper and old curtains in the bottom of the 'hall closet' as Mommy always called it. In the bag was a bandage...kerlix...fluffy if you want or thin when it gets wet..on a roll about 6 feet long.

 The end of the kerlix fit very nicely in the crack with a little coaxing from a butter knife. I unrolled it and held it away from the window as it wicked the water down the length of it. I then draped it over the handle of the hand soap dispenser on the back of the sink. I trimmed it to length and it remains...carrying the drip...the basti drip...that threatened my window and countertop...safely and neatly into the sink!

I know that to fix this drip permanently we must wait for a dry day...who knows when that will be. In the meantime I am enjoying the empty house...and the cobalt blue bottle of Riesling.

Ironic it’s name is Relax?